Relationships + My VSG

For the most part, people have been ridiculously supportive. I’ve had strangers on Instagram contact me and send me support and well wishes, I’ve had friends go out of their way to research the VSG and organise to see me while I’m in hospital. And then I’ve had the people who pretend to be supportive and wish me luck, but their attitudes and actions scream something else.

I don’t know who some of my friends will be after this whole thing, and that really makes me feel like crap. I don’t know who will congratulate me on any success I have, or who will ignore it because they think I don’t deserve it. Some people, who I considered to be my closest friends, haven’t even bothered to even ask me how my VLCD has been going, or how I’m feeling being so close to my surgery; and when I try and contact them, I get barely anything in response. Those same people haven’t even tried to organise coming to visit me while I’m in hospital. It absolutely sucks, but it was definitely expected.

Friends who are a part of the body positive community are the ones who I feel have been the least receptive to my decision. I feel like they think I should be happy with who I am, and that I don’t need to change. And while I appreciate where they are coming from, I keep trying to emphasise I am not doing this for vanity reasons. I am doing it because I want a fulfilled life where I’m no longer held back because of my weight weight. I want to travel and to keep up with my partner, I want the possibility of kids in my future and I don’t want to develop any health problems. It took me a long time to love the body I have, and wanting to better myself doesn’t mean I love it any less.

Now, I don’t mean for this entire post to be negative. I do have some amazing friends who have been brilliant with all of this, and my boyfriend has been perfect about it all, plus my family (especially my mum and sister) have been incredible. I am so blessed to have them in my life, and I honestly don’t know if I tell them all enough.

I am 8.3kg down and my VSG is in 4 days. I am so ridiculously close to my 10kg pre-op goal, so fingers and toes crossed that extra 1.7kg drops in the next few days! Also, if you’ve gotten this far through my little spiel, I commend you.

One more thing: Should I start vlogging? I really want to film my experience pre and post-op. Let me know in the comments!

I appreciate you all so much!

-G

 

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13 thoughts on “Relationships + My VSG

  1. Beck says:

    I think what your doing/have already done is absolutely wonderful & you should be so proud of yourself. A positive body image is being comfortable in your own skin, no matter what that may be, and you are to be commended for following your dreams. Best of luck with the surgury & a speedy recovery 🙂 X

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  2. Sarah says:

    Isn’t loving your body taking care of it and wanting it to be the healthiest version it can be? Would someone who loves their body want it to be diseased or unwell? Silly logic there

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    • gemmaashleigh says:

      I agree. But unfortunately I’ve found a lot of people don’t think that way. Apparently if you love your body as it is, you shouldn’t want to change..

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  3. Sabrina says:

    people are so weird once you mention anything to do with weight loss which was why I was so nervous about telling anyone that i got lapband. i know it sucks that these people are being weird but at the same time see it as a blessing if they stop talking to you. better sooner rather than later because lets be real, you’ll be losing a substantial amount of weight and the joy and sense of achievement that comes with that is something you don’t want people trying to tear down. best that the crappy people exit your life quickly so you can have a very positive journey from here on in ❤

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  4. Sabrina Lyons says:

    people are so weird once you mention anything to do with weight loss which was why I was so nervous about telling anyone that i got lapband. i know it sucks that these people are being weird but at the same time see it as a blessing if they stop talking to you. better sooner rather than later because lets be real, you’ll be losing a substantial amount of weight and the joy and sense of achievement that comes with that is something you don’t want people trying to tear down. best that the crappy people exit your life quickly so you can have a very positive journey from here on in❤

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    • gemmaashleigh says:

      Yeah, it’s just hard to accept that people I consider friends DO want to bring me down and make me feel bad for a decision to make myself happier. I would support whatever makes my friends happier, even if I don’t personally agree with it. But I guess I can’t always expect the same in return.

      What you said is perfect though, so thank you. ❤️

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  5. Karma says:

    It’s an amazing decision you have made for you and your life and with that people who are not supportive will fall away in line with your new life and this is a good thing! That doesn’t make it any easier to say goodbye though ! Much love to you beautiful I have followed you on Instagram for a while (mostly due to your makeup pics at first ! ) and since you have started writing this blog I am so glad I was ! Best wishes to you and good on you for having the maturity to know what you want for the reasons you want it and the courage to do it! Much much love from a fellow body positive female with weight issues but very proud to be a follower of someone so brave and lovely! Xxxx

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  6. Sleeved_Just For Me says:

    One of my closest friends has drifted away post VSG. It was expected. Pre surgery, before I had made up my mind, we used to bitch about our friends who’d had the surgery done. Well, not bitch. But we used to talk about how friendship had taken a hit, because food was no longer in the picture. I know we were speaking out of envy, and so, I knew she would not take this too well. But you’ve got to do, what you’ve got to do. Like you, I underwent VSG primarily for health reasons. The ‘self love’ is not for the way i ‘look’, but the way I ‘feel’ and suffer due to bad health. To my friend who has drifted apart, I’d say this – I know it’ll be better between us one day. Because this surgery will lose its novelty and it will pinch less one day. Until then, please know that I love you, but I love myself (And you taught me the most about ‘self love’ and being a little selfish).

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